Have you ever struggled to be honest with yourself?  That feeling of clinging to an idea or story despite what you know with all five senses, both in your heart and mind? 

 Perhaps we cling to these ideas because it is easier than changing in response to new information.  Perhaps what we wish for and what we know doesn't align.  Sometimes we are dishonest with ourselves because we fear being misunderstood.  I believe what many of these share in common is a fear of the unknown.

 We don't always have answers immediately, and that is ok.  Sometimes the first answer isn't the best one.  We don’t need to explain ourselves all the time; we are not obligated to be digestible and easy to understand.  

 When I find myself experiencing this internal conflict, I like to do a visualization exercise:

1. When I feel sure of something that contradicts everything I observe, feel, and experience, I pretend I am starting with a blank slate.  The "answer" I was so sure of was never there.  I pretend I have nobody to explain myself to, nor the intent to find a clear answer.

2. I try to be mindful of what I am observing, experiencing, and feeling.  I write it all down on my mental blank slate. I remind myself there is no answer or story I am trying to come up with. For now, there is no narrative.  If the board is messy and chaotic, I try to sit with it. 

3. If I reach an answer, I write that down. If not, I allow myself to leave the board as it is so I can come back to it later.

To quote poet Maya Angelou, "Do the best you can until you know better.  Then, when you know better, do better."